i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
