U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
