it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
