I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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