u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
