At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
