well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
