Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
