Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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