No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's shark week go big or go home
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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