There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
