Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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