8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
