what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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