So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
