I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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