That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
