she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
