Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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