that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
