It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
