butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i was born a porn star she said
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
