dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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