we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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