I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
