she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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