In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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