im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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