She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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