bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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