The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
