My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
