Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
