he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
