Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
