I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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