it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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