Kareoke will never be a sober sport
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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