Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out

(1-904): View more from Florida

How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?

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(904): Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out (1-904): How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction? http://tfl.nu/euyr

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(616): View more from Michigan

theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.

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(616): theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary. http://tfl.nu/ecj4

Replies (25) Good night (4361) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
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(606): View more from Kentucky

There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.

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(606): There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992. http://tfl.nu/3pqb

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.

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(502): She never called back. Financed a fleshlight. http://tfl.nu/uvos

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.

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(405): Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/6x5x

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(519): View more from Ontario

all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"

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(519): all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat" http://tfl.nu/ukas

Replies (14) Good night (4294) Bad night (1136) Order T-Shirt
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(586): View more from Michigan

from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke

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(586): from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke http://tfl.nu/jxf3

Replies (4) Good night (2251) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
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(225): View more from Louisiana

all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.

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(225): all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices. http://tfl.nu/vgow

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

no. you cant fuck a burger.

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(215): dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house (1-215): no. you cant fuck a burger. http://tfl.nu/5325

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(859): View more from Kentucky

That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.

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(859): That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka. http://tfl.nu/6iko

Replies (1) Good night (1405) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm off the liquor

(1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick

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(403): I'm off the liquor (1-403): You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick http://tfl.nu/sglp

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.

(1+44): View more from

Doesn't she keep a spare?

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.

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(+44): You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys. (1+44): Doesn't she keep a spare? (+44): Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans. http://tfl.nu/5sic

Replies (7) Good night (2530) Bad night (714)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.

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(575): There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town. http://tfl.nu/m7kt

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(561): View more from Florida

I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.

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(561): I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution. http://tfl.nu/nib7

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.

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(414): wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me. http://tfl.nu/3pdz

Replies (0) Good night (558) Bad night (93) Order T-Shirt

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