I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy