i just google imaged poop.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
