I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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