And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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