I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
