it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
