Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude i'm inner monologue high
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
