I will die if light touches me.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
