I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize