All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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