This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
