i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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