Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Boobs speak an international language.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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