There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
