So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
