Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Randomize
