Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
