Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
