btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
