I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
as a side note pls kill me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
