She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
