There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
