I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
