If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
