I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
