Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize