At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
