singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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