She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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