HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize